Showing Care For Others Despite Being Ill


The year 2019 was the toughest year of my life. That was when my doctor diagnosed me with breast cancer, stage 1. It was easy to treat with medication, and I did not need to get surgery for it. However, I had an issue with accepting the truth and admittedly became mean to some of the people around me. I reasoned that I was the sick one, so they had to deal with whatever I was feeling. According to the 2019 Public Health Conference panelists, though, I was wrong on so many levels.

I do not remember the exact words that one of them used, but it goes like this: “Your illness is not another person’s fault. So, why should you be mean to them? If anything, you should be much nicer when you are sick because they will help you get back on your feet. Keeping up the negative attitude may only push them away.”


Luckily, I attended that event at least a month after my diagnosis, so I didn’t stay horrible and ruin my relationships. Instead, I thought of ways to express my affection and gratitude for all they’ve done for me.

If you wish to salvage your relationships, too, here are some ways to show care for others despite being ill.

Grieve Calmly
Hearing your name and the C-word in one sentence is so tough that it makes people go through stages of grief. After all, you do not experience the different emotions that come with it when someone dies in the family. You also feel these things when you cannot accept new information, such as the cancer diagnosis.

I will advise you against trying to skip the stages of grief. That will entail bottling up your emotions, and it is 100% not okay. However, it is ideal—even healthy for the people around you—to do it without yelling or breaking stuff at home. This way, everyone can think of the next step forward soundly.


Don’t Hide Your Fears
Other cancer patients that I have talked to are passive, in the sense that they keep on hiding what they feel to their loved ones. They tend to say, “Everything is good. I’m feeling fantastic.” They insist on it, even though we all know that that may not genuinely be the case.

Well, I suggest that you talk about your fears to your spouse, siblings, or friends so that they can help you process things. If you don’t show your emotions, and it backfires, it will hurt your loved ones more than you.

Get Medical Help ASAP
I was one of those fortunate few who got diagnosed early. As soon as I felt a lump under my left breast, I went to the doctor to get checked. Thus, the medication managed to terminate the lump before the cancer cells surpassed the first stage.

Some people love to wait it out, saying their familial duties are more important than their health. When the situation worsens, though, the loved ones tend to feel guilty for being unable to help. Hence, seeking medical attention at once is among the best ways of showing care for others.


Cancer or not, how do you express your love to your family and friends?

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