Even if my marriage was a total failure, I have five kids that I love more than anything in this world. Sometimes, I think about regrets. I regret having met this monster who gave me my five children, but it is what it is. This is my life, and part of it is everything bad that happened to me during my marriage. What I will never regret, though, is bearing these five kiddos. They have been the light for me at the end of the tunnel.
I work from home at most four hours each day. It was just so lucky for me to still be working remotely, even if our home branch is closed. The hours were adjusted and also my salary, but I did not mind. As long as I have income coming in from work, I will be able to manage.
The quarantine and lockdown have got me thinking since I have so much time in my hands now. These five younglings have saved me from the depths of depression. They would be my angels, even if their dad was the devil to me. What do I know about them? And so, I came up with the idea: how to get to know my kids in 10 minutes.
I know it may seem short, but ten minutes of one and one time with your child is better than an hour of being together and just watching TV. There is no interaction and no personal communication in that. If we bond with them, let it be with words and time. You can even bring your child some food, sit down, and talk. That’s what I did.
In my mind, what I needed to do was to find a way on how I can get them off their gadgets and have a sip with me. I love drinking tea, milk tea, cold coffee, and fruit juices. My youngest daughter love boba pearls and chocolate. And so, I made boba chocolate milk tea, and she saw me do it.
My youngest, who is only five years old, is very articulate. And I just noticed it. She has a good command in English, and can very well express what she wants to say American-English style. We are Filipinos and our first language Wikang Tagalog. Living in Davao City, our native dialect here is Davao Bisaya. I am also a Manobo, which means I can also speak the native tongue. My children are not fluent, but they have adapted it as well. My youngest sounds as if she is not a Filipino. And I find that adorable.
Over boba chocolate milk tea, we sat on the floor of her room, and she introduced me to her toys. She is organized when it comes to her things, and my baby also loves the color pink. In the 10 minutes that we were together, she told me that she misses her dad and that she wishes there is no more COVID-19.
When I went out of her room, I was blocked by my son. I only have one boy and four girls. He was stern and looked at me in a certain way – asking why I was drinking milk tea when his sister said that I should quit it. I pulled my son to the couch, and we sat down. He said that I should not be drinking it because of my health, my sugar. I didn’t know that with his disorder (he has ADHD – read more about this disorder at FamilyHype), he would retain such a conversation between her sister and me. My 9-year-old boy was concerned for me and wanted me in great health. I told him that the milk tea I made had no sugar, but yes, it had glutinous boba pearls. I promised him that I would cut down my consumption to once a week. He talked about his Lego creations, and I saw that he made videos of it. With his extra time, my boy was making Lego videos, and I am so proud.
Later that night, my next stop was the older girls. My first-born doesn’t want to talk to me at the moment, and well, I will have to work a way around that. I came into the bedroom of my second and third, as they were sharing. They didn’t talk much, but one statement was said by both of them that completed the 10 minutes. “Mom, are you feeling better now?” I told them that I am not fully healed, but I will get there. I also asked them if they are feeling better, as well. My second-born said that she tries to cope, while the third one says she just doesn’t want to hear any more fighting.
I came out of the room a bit sad, but at least I knew the truth. Wow, how ten minutes can change one’s perspective is truly amazing.